Jennifer leaned back against the leather seat, although the lighting was dim, her eyes ached as she watched Rob approach. God, why couldn’t they have driven straight home, instead of playing out this farce. She knew the minute he’d sit down the tension of the last hours would resurface, “You ordered yet,’ Rob asked. “No, I thought I’d best wait for you,” she replied, ‘beside I am not really all that hungry.”

Green eyes glared at her across the table, in blatant contrast to the calm tones that crossed his lips, “and I suppose that’s my fault as well” he whispered, smiling at the waiter as he approached. “Two glasses of your house white,’ he started. “No just the one” said Jennifer, the smile on her lips not quite reaching her eyes, “I’ll have a mineral water please, we’ll order in a minute.” The waiter nodded and, keeping her attention focused on his back as he walked away, Jennifer almost laughed, “you really are amazing, didn’t you listen to any of the instructions, or would you rather pretend it never happened?”

Although there was a hum of noise in the restaurant, Rob tried to keep his voice in check, “you really think this is all about you, don’t you?” Unclenching his hands, he stared at them laying face down on the table. “I feel it too, you think because I believe it was the right decision, it doesn’t hurt.” Pausing, the green eyes rising to meet Jennifer’s, he struggled with what he wanted to say. “We had no choice, and you know it as well as I do,” he said, the words coming one syllable at a time.

“But it’s not the same,” Jennifer was having trouble speaking, “you drop me off, take a couple of hours to do whatever it is you did and then just pick me up. Closing her eyes and holding her emotions tightly she continued, “I needed you there, and now you want to have lunch as if its all okay, well I can’t, I won’t. God, you were surprised I was angry when you showed up there weren’t you?”  She knew she was right, an emotion had shown in his eyes, one she hadn’t seen before, guilt. What she didn’t know was what was the guilt for, guilt for what had happened or because she had called him on it. She pulled her hand away when she realised it was stroking her stomach. They both flinched at the sight of it.

Rob felt is if a gate had closed, and all he wanted to do was keep it from locking. But in truth, he knew that wasn’t what was about to happen. “I think that this is neither the time or…. Jenny, don’t do this here, please. Can we just eat?

“No Rob, we are not going to just eat, I’m going to the bathroom and when I have finished, I’m heading home, to pack.” “Jenny please, you don’t want to leave, not over this,” Rob spoke to the table more than Jenny, but was still conscious of the other diners. “I’m packing all right,” Jenny lifted his chin to focus on his green eyes, “but I’m not the one leaving.” For the first time in days, Rob saw a hint of a smile in her drawn face. It remained with him as the bathroom door closed behind her.

2 thoughts on “Decisions”

There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: I want to hear your opinion.

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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu


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