Losing your safe haven.

I have had a love affair with this house I call home.

It is the home I brought after I broke my back the first time and could no longer manage the three acres the kids and I lived on after my divorce.

The old house and three acre property.
The old house and three acre property.

The kitchen bench is an awful red colour.

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My bathroom has that horrible colour as well.

Charlie in my bathroom.

The steps on the deck need repair after the china doll trees damaged them.

China Doll trees gone and a wonky set of stairs.
China Doll trees gone and a wonky set of stairs.

The carpet and lino need replacing, and the floor repairing after the kitchen sink leaked. One bathroom needs renovating and it is time to paint the living area, as well as the deck. Still…I love this home.

It is the home that I got my degree in.

Finally...a university graduate !
Finally…a university graduate !

Where I prepared my children to go out and face the world on their own. It is where I raised my fur babies from tiny innocence to the more demanding characters they are today. Where I buried my beloved Tia after 17 years of sharing my life with her. Where sweet Katie is buried after a scant 18 months of life wherein she taught me about the capacity to just be.

The Kiddywinkles have boogie boarded down the drive when it’s rained. I have made countless meals for them and their friends.

The Son and his Lady !!!
The Son and his Lady !!!

I’ve celebrated birthdays and graduations.

I’ve cried over loss. I’ve worked my way back from being crippled with pain and went on to lose 30 kilos in weight.

One of the braces I wore when nursing a broken back...now a piece of art on the deck.
One of the braces I wore when nursing a broken back…now a piece of art on the deck.

I started writing again in these rooms.

The writer at work.

Within these walls I have started to emerge again after years of being someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s mother.

These rooms have seen a few foster babies pass through on their way to forever homes.

This home has been my safe place…where I retreat and regroup and regrow.

On Friday I went in to town. Needed to buy a new tap, and decided to visit friends. They have that lovely bench you saw previously that I like to lounge on. Just a day like any other day.

I was away from my home of ten years for about two hours.

IMG_2193

And during those two hours someone came a visiting…

SAM_0231

Sadly not a friendly fellow like this wee guy.

A person or persons still unknown decided it was their right to help themselves to MY stuff. Using MY crowbar they jimmied open a window, made a hell of a mess, and skedaddled with a fair bit of MY gear. They either let Chevvy out or she figured she was better off out of it because she was nowhere to be seen when I came home.

Chevvy with her cuddle friend...Bear !
Chevvy with her cuddle friend…Bear !

The kitty cats were also found outside, after they smudged away any fingerprints that might have been left on the window sill.

Day 116 - 26.4.2013
I should have known something was up when the baby of the family darted in front of the car.
I have a feeling Jackie would have said: "The old lady has too much stuff anyways guys...help yourself while I go catch a bird !"
I have a feeling Jackie would have said: “The old lady has too much stuff anyways guys…help yourself while I go catch a bird !”

The Police were fabulous. Friends have been so supportive. Neighbours shocked.

Me…I don’t sleep too well lately. And my home has reverted to a house I don’t feel safe in. All because someone thinks they have the right to take what they want. I hope one day they feel as I do. Maybe then they will understand what they do to others when they invade their sanctity.

So…until I figure out ALL that is missing and insurance does what insurance is for…I am on a friend’s OLD [dinosaur scenario] laptop. So I guess I won’t be posting often. This post has taken hours [probably longer than they took to rob me].

But…as Arnie always says…I will be back !!!!! And with attitude !!!

19.4.2013

 

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Author: Jo Bryant

I was born in the land of Banjo Paterson, gum trees, and weather extremes. I am a freelance writer. I live in the Bay of Plenty, New Zealand, but still like to claim my Australian heritage. I graduated with a Bachelor of Communications in 2008. I am writing my first novel. I love to write poetry, short stories, and also write for the web. And there is nothing that is on a par with a sunny summer's day spent at Waihi Beach.

68 thoughts on “Losing your safe haven.”

    1. Thanks Gilly. The worst part is the jewellery they stole. A few things that maybe were not worth a fortune but meant a lot to me. Stuff Dad gave me for my 21st, and now he is gone. Even if the insurance pays what it was worth…I can never replace it.

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  1. You have my sympathies hon and I know the feeling too well. To me my home is the only place I could feel safe but when they do that you lose that feeling too. I’ve always wondered how those people would feel if we do that in their homes. Hang in there hon. *big hugs*
    PS: Love the pics. πŸ™‚

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    1. Thanks Ma’am.
      I know it will get better, I just hate the thought that someone went through all my stuff. Poor Chevvy has been a bit traumatized. That night she weed and pooed in the house and she has been sleeping between my legs every night.

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      1. Shame hon. Yes, when they broke into our home it was while we were all asleep. They threw something through the window that doped us good and even Simba had trouble waking up and we were all like goofs when we did wake up. I am just glad our youngest did not confront them and that they ran away when they heard him. His windows were closed but he also got a whiff of whatever they doped us with and we all had headaches for 2 days. Now we never sleep with open windows anymore at night.

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        1. Oh goodness that is terrible. I am so glad you are all okay. I am having trouble with that. I used to leave windows open, doors unlocked [during the day], but right now I just can’t do that anymore. That is the part I hate the most. The have made me fearful.

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          1. Same here hon but see it as an experience. Yes, it is terrible to lose the valuables but I am glad we were spared. They could have killed us all in our sleep but they didn’t. We found out afterwards it was the gardener that works for the landlord. I was also very fearful afterwards and just felt like running away somewhere and go and live on an island surrounded by sharks, but I decided they are not going to take away my safe haven. It’s all I have. We activated the alarm and made it more difficult for them to come in and I learned to take is as a life experience. I told the landlord I refuse to take in anyone to work here if they don’t have an ID and proof of address and got a gardening service to work here once a week. They come in, do their job quick and efficient, no lounging around like the previous gardener did and no time for them to see where they can break in, etc. I also keep the security gates locked during the day and don’t allow anyone in that I don’t know. Even the meter reader from the municipality must show his ID if he wants to get in now. Oh, and they know I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it. We had instances here where women and their maids were raped and killed during the day, so I am not taking any chances. Here they also go around and kill the farmers. So yes, it’s a difficult time for all of us today hon and I blame the governments.

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          2. It makes me made when someone you know and trust abuses that very thing. I am just glad you are all okay. Just stay safe…the world needs more like you around and for a very long time.

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          3. Same here sweetness. You stay safe as well and thanks for the lovely compliment hon. I don’t think the world would agree with you..hehehe, but thanks. *big hugs*

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  2. Oh no, Jo, I’m so sorry to hear that. What a terrible invasion of your life and your safe haven. I’d tell you what I’d like to see done to the robbers, but my words would surely be censored. Is a burglar alarm in your future? Or perhaps alligators and a moat? That would be my choice.

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  3. It’s horriffic the way ones life can change in the blink of an eye. I can so very much sympathize with you on this subject. I have been buglarized in every home I have ever lived in except this one I am in now. It leaves you with an insecure feeling that is so hard to overcome. I coldn’t and always moved. Now, in this home, I am at peace. It is what we deserve to feel in our home. The scoundrals may have taken your things but they are miniscual in comparrison to your peace of mind. I hope that you can rise above this and get angry enough to stay in what has been your home and sanctuary. I was not brave enough. Blessings to you for strength to do what needs to be done.
    Namaste …
    Isadora

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    1. Thanks for the kind thoughts Isadora. I am not sure if I will stay. I am having a lot of trouble feeling safe here now. Life does turn so quickly at times. So quickly it is a little scary…but maybe it is what I need in my life. I wonder a little if the universe is trying to get me to move on.

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      1. I believe you’re right when you say that the universe is trying to get you to move on. Often, when something goes completely in the opposite way of what I had wanted, I give myself the old karma talk. It just isn’t meant. Perhaps, better things will come my way. They don’t always arrive right away but eventually I see why it had to be. Certainly, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I stayed stuck and immovable. It isn’t a walk in the park but inner strength and fortitude can get you there. I pray you inner stregth carry you to more magestic heights.
        Namaste ….. Izzy xoxoxo

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        1. I have been sensing change hovering around my door for a while lately…only lately the knocking is getting louder and louder. Thank you so much for your lovely wishes for me. It means a lot. Oh…BTW…this ‘Projection’…came after a late night visit to you.

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  4. how shocking jo … but what a wonderful post you have made, recounting the tale of the house, all it has meant to you over the years … now that was a worthwhile outcome from such a rude invasion … just to be motivated to find all those pictures and tell that story … i hope whoever did it is soon caught and removed from circulation … although you may as well feel safe now since he probably took all that he considered valuable … big hugs XXOOXX

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  5. Sorry to hear that Jo…. I understand how it feels for a stranger to enter your personal space and leave it a mess… They broke into our home and tore it apart years ago… The good thing is that you are all fine, so gather up your lovely family and turn it back into your lovely home! πŸ™‚

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  6. I am so sorry you personal space was invaded and they took some of your things. It seems to be happening more and more. I have a love affair with my home as well and would be just a tad more upset than you appear to be if someone invaded my home.

    I like the moat with a pair of crocodiles as a method to keep them (whomever they are) away but then they would just build a bridge to throw-down across the moat knowing you must have verrrrry valuable things if you have a moat.

    Take care; hoping they will be caught soon and the insurance comes through on the stuff that can be replaced; other things of value, maybe they left seeing no value.

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    1. Thanks Linda. I actually have had a pretty rough week. I never thought it would get to me as much as it has. The first time I went out for a couple of hours…when I came home my hand was shaking so much I almost couldn’t get the key in the lock. But I am trying to stay positive. Everyone has been very supportive, so I consider myself lucky.

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  7. How frightening. Stuff is replaceable. Peace of mind, not so much. But thankfully they waited until you were gone and none of the animals were injured. I pray it doesn’t happen again.

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  8. Oh, dear Jo…long distance hugs…That’s terrible news. Glad your fur babies are all okay (though traumatized).
    You are one of the strongest spirits I know…you will bounce back with a vengeance!

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    1. Thanks Sue. I appreciate your always being here for us. Chevvy says hi and to tell you she is doing better. She slept beside me last night. Sorry I haven’t visited lately, but after it happened on the 20th I went to ground for a bit to lick my wounds. And I get a little frustrated with the computer trying to get it all together.

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  9. Jo; I’m so very sorry to read this. I know there is nothing I can materially do, but know that I’m thinking of you and believe that your family and friends – and your obvious humour and resilience – will help you through. I hope you can feel “at home” again someday soon. Big hugs, Su.

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    1. Thanks Su.
      πŸ™‚
      I am sure once the dust settles I will be fine.
      And I actually feel rather lucky. This whole messy episode has shown me what great friends I have…both online and not.

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      1. I’m glad you’re doing ok. I’ve had this happen to me once, and I remember feeling angry and violated and a bit scared – but that was partly because my house-mate put deadlocks on all the doors and windows, and I was convinced we’d die in a house fire!
        And you’re right; misfortune does shine a light on relationships and help us realize how much others are capable of caring.

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        1. I am going to change the locks and latches to ones that are tougher to open. I really don’t want to go through this again. When I was 20 in Sydney it happened and they came back a week later. Took all my birthday cards off the TV and placed them nicely on the floor. Cheeky little shits. And ALL the new gear is going with me where I go for a while…with a note on the door saying so !! I just wish they hadn’t taken the jewellery. That I can never replace. 😦 But luckily one ring my Dad gave me for my 21st I had already passed on to The Daughter when she left for university…so that means at least something remains.

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          1. I understand; TVs and computers are replaceable (though not data – thank goodness for the Cloud), but the objects that carry the imprint of our lives are irreplaceable. I’m glad your daughter has the ring from her grandfather; it’s even more special now.

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          2. Because of all the computer issues lately I have been saving stuff all over the place. So it will be a pain to replace phones/laptops…but not the end of the world. But if I ever find the fashious fallae I’ll gie hem a skelpit lug!

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  10. I’m so sorry to hear this Jo, and I’m glad that the animals weren’t hurt. Chevvy is sticking close to you where she feels safe, but she will gradually relax and be her usual self again. It will take you a while to get over it. I was burgled a few years ago and what they took wasn’t as bad as the way it made me feel – an invasion of my privacy in my own home. We got a German Shepherd x Dingo for protection after it!
    It’s awful that it makes you more aware of closing windows and locking doors now, but give yourself time, you will come good again.

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  11. Oh my Jo – now I understand your comment about the computer non-cooperation! I was robbed once many years ago. Such a horrific violation. But don’t let them get the best of you, otherwise they win. Remember it’s just STUFF and you still have your babies and your health. This too shall pass.

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  12. Oh, Jo, how AWFUL! Yes, it’s the stuff, but even more it’s being able to feel happy and safe, right? May their car break down, and may they spend hours trudging through the rain lugging your stuff in plastic sacks that shred as they drag them along the road so that things keep falling out, and when they try to sell what’s left of the loot may they get only a tenth of the money they expected, and may the fence call the police as soon as they’re out the door, and may they be arrested while they’re huddled in bed nursing the bad colds they caught because they were caught in the rain after they robbed you. And may New Zealand jails, as a matter of policy, deny prisoners access to handkerchiefs to blow their noses with.

    And after that, may their lives turn seriously unpleasant.

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  13. Oh Jo, I am so, so sorry. I can’t even imagine how you must feel, but I’m sure there is anger and sadness and a myriad of feelings and emotions that I wish you weren’t feeling right now. So far away, I can’t image I can be of any help other than to be of support. You are so obviously a strong person and I know you will get through this, even stronger. I hope the culprits are caught. Such a violation. So wrong!
    Karma’s a b_tch!

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  14. OH Jo, I am so very sorry to hear about this – no wonder poor Chevvy is traumatised! I have very fond memories of staying with you at the little palace that you call ‘home’, where you made Michael and I so welcome.

    (((((((BIG HUGS))))))

    Marianne x

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    1. Thanks Marianne. I have fond memories of your time here too. Chevvy is doing better. The last two nights she has abandoned her place between my legs for a spot alongside me.

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  15. Oh Jo I am so sorry. It happened to us a long time ago and I know how traumatising it can be. And not knowing who did it is worse. Hugs to you and your furry babies πŸ™‚

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