My last post [What happened to being kind to one another ??] was written because I saw what was to me an unjustifiable attack on someone because of her weight. As your replies rolled in I began to ponder whether or not my post was also a form of bullying. In essence I too was being critical of another human being.
After much thought I felt I needed to offer the blogger a chance to reply to my post out of a sense of fairness. Perhaps I had mistaken her intent. Perhaps I had misjudged her. And then – perhaps not.
It would seem not only am I a man [she addresses me as Joe] but due to my past I am in a “serious mental breakdown” and need help:
because of your own internal relationship with food, being overweight, the early death of your mother, your relationship with your father and the many, many places you were forced to live at as a child has molded you.
The post I discussed is no longer available for viewing. Though the link is still up at the Weekly Photo Challenge: Big
Here’s my submission. Be prepared to laugh!
So why after keeping her anonymity am I longer doing so ? She crossed a line with the last sentence of her reply when speaking of my child.
And the blogger has come to Chronicles under the name ‘anonymous photographer.’ to tell me not only to get help but…well…I have no words for what she said in the comment.
My comment to her was :
I have debated about telling you that I blogged about this post of yours because I was unsure as to your reaction. However, I feel you have the right to know I discussed this and what I said. I will give free reign to your comments so long as you remain polite. Which is what I tried to do with you before. You are of course also welcome to post any of the comments I made on this blog should you wish to.
I am not approving her reply on my blog as this will allow her access in the future. I do not want this to turn in to a saga of back and forthing. I shall post it here.Why – because I do not believe ALL Americans feel this way. While My Life in Focus feels it is NOT bullying…when reading the following from her comment…I feel terribly sorry for the woman in the photo and for what she is to experience the next time this blogger sees her because:
I am doing this fat women harm by keeping my mouth shut. Next time I see her, I am going to tap her on her shoulder and tell her she looks and dresses inappropriately. She is fat and overweight. She is disfigured and deformed due to her excessive eating.
This woman had in my opinion a ‘Rubenesque’ bum that at any one time you might have seen Jennifer Lopez sporting. I’ve seen obese. I’ve been obese. This woman is not obese. But as the photo is gone you can’t judge that for yourself.
Or can you ? What if someone had downloaded that photo ? Taken a screen capture of the post itself. I shall investigate the possibility.
I shall now leave it to you to decide who it is that has a mental health issue.
After this post I shall not be spending anymore time on this one.
From anonymous photographer…
I understand you are from another country so I will excuse your ignorance. Here in America we have a serious obesity problem. The obesity is so rampant here in our country that it has become a national epidemic. 60% of our children are so overweight that they have heart problems as well as diabetes. Our government has decided that it can no longer be silent nor accept or be tolerant of this disease. That’s what being overweight is: a disease. Treating citizens with diabetes and heart disease has also been a drag on our national financial resources. Hospitals are inundated with higher and higher medical costs treating this disease. The problem has become so large and excessive our government has had to intervene.
Last month, as per President Obama, all public schools throughout our country have modified our student lunches to now be low-fat and calorie restrictive in an attempt to bring our obesity problems under control. Students now eat lunches that are under 700 calories vs the 1500 calories they ate previously. Here in New York City where I live, our mayor banned all restaurants and take-away from using high saturated fats in their food preparation. Our Mayor gave the food companies one full year to modify their recipes and remove all trans fats from the food products. Last month our Mayor also banned the sale of sugary drinks above 12 ounces. Other cities and towns across this great nation have also made new laws and modified food intake to all our citizens in a way to help bring our obesity epidemic at bay.
This is NOT bulling, as you have suggested. Do you think our President Obama and his wife, Michelle Obama are bullies because they passed laws to curtain the health of our obese population? Our own President has called us what we are: FAT! Americans are fat. We have now become the fattest people on the planet. Do you think we should be tolerant and silent as more and more of our friends, family, co-workers become sicker and sicker and die an early, painful death each and every day? This has nothing to do with the rights of women or acceptance of their body weight. We Americans can no longer accept our overweight children and adults. We are fat and if nothing is done about it, we shall all die an early, unnatural, painful death.
Thanks to President Obama we all have national health insurance. We all realize that if all of us are to receive health care we all must ban together and make sure we are all healthy, as to keep costs down. We Americans will no longer tolerate nor accept being overweight. We are all encouraged to eat better and to exercise. Massive education programs are now being taught throughout our country. Our elected politicians are passing laws banning fried foods and super-sized meal. We are being encouraged to start our own gardens and prepare our own meals.
Many Americans are in denial of this epidemic. Because of this we can no longer be tolerant and understanding nor accepting of our overweight population. We can no longer be concerned about hurt feelings or so-called ‘women’s tender feelings’. We are fat and if something isn’t done immediately, we will be fatter, more un-healthy and more of a strain on our economy.
The street photography photo I took of an obese woman, who was so hideous overweight in her ass is a perfect example of the denial most Americans exemplify. She thinks she is a size 2 yet she squeezed her fat size ass 16 into a skinny woman’s clothing. She was pathetic. She was ridiculous. She was laughable. She is a disgrace. Our continuing to be silent over her appearance just propagates the lie and the denial. This is not about her right to be who she wants to be anymore. This is not about her right to dress and be whomever she wants to be. Here in America today this kind of attitude can no longer be accepted. Obesity is a national disease. Obesity in America has weakened our national defense system as many new recruits are turned away due to their weight. I am wrong to keep my mouth shut over this woman’s weight. I am wrong to ignore and accept her appearance. I am doing this fat women harm by keeping my mouth shut. Next time I see her, I am going to tap her on her shoulder and tell her she looks and dresses inappropriately. She is fat and overweight. She is disfigured and deformed due to her excessive eating.
People like her need to be laughed at. People like her need to be told they are fat and overweight. These people need help. The tolerance of the past isn’t working. We need to get more aggressive and active. We can no longer be concerned about ‘hurt feelings’. Our citizens are dying because of their obesity. Personally, now, I see it as my national duty to inform this woman because I just may be saving her life. And the life of her baby daughter she paraded up and down the avenue in her baby carriage, while exposing her own fat ass, in extremely tight, see-through leggins for all the town to see.
From reading your blog Jo, I realized that because of your own internal relationship with food, being overweight, the early death of your mother, your relationship with your father and the many, many places you were forced to live at as a child has molded you. You have placed your own mental shortcomings and insecurities onto my photo. You have wrongly internalized your own mental anguishes and problems onto my street photography. 99% of people who have viewed my photo have called it ‘hilarious’. It’s probably an American thing and not a New Zealand thing. We Americans can no longer accept nor tolerate obese people. The gloves are off. We are in a battle. We need to save lives, help our children get their weight under control and get our health issues back in line. You Jo, have blown this matter all out of proportion due to your own mental issues. As I have stated you do need to see a psychiatrist and the fact that you wrote an entire post about this, gave your readers a distorted version of something that didn’t even happen makes me think all the more that you are in a serious mental breakdown.
I only wish you the best. Please get the help you need. If not for yourself, do it for your daughter.
I know how this makes me feel. There are almost no words to describe it. I would love to hear how it makes you feel.