What happens after the moment ?


This morning I read a review of Anne Rice‘s Interview With A Vampire. It wasn’t a good review but then the reviewer is a Twilight fan. Yes I know !! I have said I like Twilight and I love Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, but they are two completely different genres…it’s like comparing Brad Pitt and Justin Beiber.

I also went online to read the news. Which lead me to the Stewart/Pattinson saga playing itself out in the media.

Shock, horror…Bella cheated on Edward. Whoops, I mean Kristen cheated on Rob. It is a bit hard to seperate the two at times.

It must be awful to be that young and have your mistakes played over and over again to the public.

Which led me to wondering why it is the public expects these kids to always do the right thing? Because they are kids. Their brains aren’t fully formed. The part that makes it possible for us oldies to understand action and consequence is still trying to forge its links.

At their age I was a baby. Though God help you if you tried to tell me that. In love with a boy who would never love me back. Age has shown me that that was precisely the attraction. My unformed brain took me on paths that often led to bad decisions.

Yet isn’t that precisely what that age is all about? Learning to make decisions, good decisions because of the bad ones that teach us what happens when we get it wrong.

I started thinking about The Kiddywinkles. At 23 and 21 they are right there. Forging their lives, making choices, learning what happens when they make the wrong ones. Celebrating when they make the right ones.

Have you noticed how much of a hurry they are in? At times I just want to say: “Slow down…it will come.” But I think back and realise that I ran about my life just as much back then. I chased every opportunity, convinced that it needed to be caught at that moment or possibly be lost forever.

Waiting, patience, was for people who couldn’t move fast anymore. I didn’t think beyond the moment.

Because in that moment of making the choice there is a certain euphoria. You have picked the path and take joy in planting that first step in your new direction.

Being young is a bit like running around a rabbit warren. Racing forward, crossing paths, turning back, getting lost, and getting lost again. At some point however you will find the right direction and sunlight will be waiting for you at the exit.

It is the getting lost that creates the sustenance for us to live and survive. It takes us from babyhood to adulthood. And we need to remember that.

Us I mean…the adults who have made the mistakes and lived with the consequences of our own bad choices. Because sometimes it is those bad choices that will later define who we are…in a good way.

Mine did. The boy I mentioned earlier – one of my bad choices – was the reason I left Australia to travel overseas.

And just look where that has taken me !!!



  1. When I was there age, I made mistakes that keep coming back to haunt me now. But I learned from those mistakes. I was still a kid. The media expects them to grow up so fast. And if they do grow up, their parents get slammed for not allowing them to have a childhood. Damned if they do, damned if they don’t scenario


    1. We all do – just some of us forget that when we get older. Kids are supposed to make mistakes. That’s why they’re kids…kids/mistakes…they belong together.


  2. Ohhh, Jo…I LOVED this post. I wish you could send it to a Teen magazine!! Cant you??!! I wish I heard it when I was a teen…here I am in my 40s and still, it reminds me to trust my own process and path even more:) We all get there, dont we? And who doesn’t deserve a little more forgiveness. We are just human, after all. Precious friend…your heart has warmed my own. Thank you.


  3. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, “I could not be more thankful that camera phones were not around when I was living my prodigal journey.”
    Great post! Thanks!


  4. This is sooooooo true. Gosh … I swore I’d never regret anything I’ve ever done, and most things, I don’t regret (even mistakes) because those things did created other things in my life that ended up being good … things that most likely would never have been formed had I not made my mistakes. But there is that ONE thing I’ve done that I do regret. Maybe I have to wait a little longer to see something come of it, but, I do think there are some things that are just plain regrettable and usually they are the things done in haste and without thought. THis was such a great post. Loved it. 😀


  5. What an excellent post Jo. I jumped in quick with a guy because I thought no one else would want me and I would be sat on the shelf. I had an appalling lack of self esteem.You know there were times when I was trapped in my marriage, that I regretted ever setting eyes on him but I stayed because of the kids. I thought he was a bad choice and when I left I thought what an idiot I was for staying so long, but without him the kids wouldn’t be the kids they are and without staying they wouldn’t be the kids they are.


  6. An excellent post. I remember rushing into everything thinking I knew it all. And boy did I make some horrible mistakes. Yet, I wouldn’t be where I’m at without those mistakes. Now I do my best to sit back and enjoy. I would not want to be famous and to have everyone know about my mistakes, since even though I’m older, I still make them. A public life would be hell for me.


    1. Thanks TBM !!!! I would have been lambasted for sure if I had lived in a more public arena for some of the stuff I did. Thing is I think we all do that stuff…we just dust over the memories as we get older. Older generations need to think back before they condemn the younger ones.


  7. Re: the Kristen drama…sorry, they don’t get a ‘pass’ from me just because she is young. HE (Sanders, the married director) should’ve known better, and so should she…after all, it’s not like she didn’t know he was married and she had even met his wife and kids for Goodness’ sake. Secondly, once can be considered a “mistake” but twice is a pattern. When she first hooked up with Rob, she was currently dating someone else…but she dumped him in order to be with Rob. Moral of the story: If they cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. Nope, sorry, I can’t excuse that kind of behavior and blame it on “youth”. Young and stupid, sure, I was there, too, but when it comes to something like being the “other woman”, it’s Hollywood and she damned sure should’ve known better. / End rant.

    That being said, I love how you described the process of gaining wisdom (i.e. getting older). 🙂

    re: Anne Rice’s “Vampire Chronicles” vs. Twilight – lol, your analogy is awesome! I loved Rice’s books (and some of the movies) but haven’t had the stomach to even try the “Twilight” fluff.

    Last but certainly not least, I will be mailing your b-day pkg soon but am waiting on part of it to arrive. I hope that it gets to you by your b-day, but also know how slowly the snail mail to NZ can be. Just be patient, please. 🙂


    1. Re: drama…I am not saying they should get a pass (and he should have known better), but I think sometimes we forget that we made mistakes too. Sometimes horrendous ones. At that age you don’t fully realize consequences. I do believe that with mistakes of this magnitude (though I also have a feeling that this whole saga is being blown a bit out of proportion…if all they did was kiss) should have consequences…after all that is how we learn not to do them again, she made a mistake. She owned up, apologized. Time to let it go for the media – though that is unlikely I know – and let her sort out her life in peace.
      Twilight is fluff yes…but at the right time it is a good read. As long as you remember what you are reading that is. Never expect Mills and Boon to be more than Mills and Boon and you won’t be disappointed.
      Awwwwwww…you’re mailing me a birthday package…that is soooooooooooooooooooooo cool.


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