What do they have in common ??
Yesterday was a miserable day weather wise here in New Zealand. An inside day. I did some photo-editing.
I did some writing, some cooking, and watched a movie – Twilight. No laughing behind your hands please. I like the first movie.
It is just a nice little film about teenage love and vampires…WOW…what a sentence to actually write.
But watching it I ended up thinking about conflict.
I’ve been thinking about conflict a lot lately. Conflict and expectations.
You see at 53 I have some expectations of how people should treat me. I like to think I have earned the right to be treated as an adult.
Yet it doesn’t always happen and sometime the results are – well – I am still trying to get my head around it.
I belong to a writers’ group. Have for a few years now. And it fills a need. I love the discipline of writing for the group. Each month new topics and forms are set, and each month every member critiques what you have written.
I thrive in this type of interactive environment.
On Monday it all went South…and when you’re living in New Zealand…well…you get my meaning.
If I really was a VAMPIRE life would be a lot easier.
Bloodier but easier.
But I digress.
It has taken me 53 years to admit something to myself. I have tried. Really, really tried…to believe in God. I have been to church, to retreats.
At age nine I actually wanted to be a Nun. Sally Field was my model…
Which in itself is odd as when I went to live with my mother at age eight she sent me to a Catholic school where the Nuns were…well un-Nunlike.
After years being raised in an Anglican environment I fell in love with the pageantry of the Catholic faith. I changed my mind when I realised that to be a Nun I would need to marry a guy who had been dead rather a long time.
Children can be fickle…
I’ve read the Bible…actually I have three of them at last count.
But then I have also read the Koran.
In my life I have also looked at
- Hinduism I liked their dharma (a system of values to live by)
- Bahá’í faith (I had a friend who walked me through this faith, and I like their acceptance of other religions)
- Rastafari…but I am the wrong skin tone, and I did enough inhalation for enlightenment during my youth.
- Spiritualism (Houdini thought it was possible…and who hasn’t messed about with a Ouji board !!!)
- Other Christian religions such as The Seventh Day Adventist Church (my sister-in-law is a member) and so on.
- Paganism – which is worthy of its own post…believe me !!!
- Scientology – how are these people not locked up and in straight jackets. I couldn’t help myself with this…he may be nuts but Tom Cruise is yummy. Think Top Gun…think motorbike, leather jacket wearing Tom Cruise and tell me he isn’t yummy. Go on then…
- Buddhism. I have read some of Buddha’s teachings. I like Buddha…well I like his philosophy. Treating ALL life with respect. And if I am honest, I REALLY like the idea of coming back until you get it right. I figure I might have to give it a few goes before I am considered enlightened. Buddhism is more a way of life though, than a religion, and I find a myself with a deep connection to the main principles Buddhists live by:
(1) to lead a moral life,
(2) to be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions, and
(3) to develop wisdom and understanding.
And the Dalai Lama is just about the coolest guy on the planet.
I haven’t finished my investigations…I never will. I just don’t have enough time.
But I do not believe in a supreme God.
I haven’t done so for many years.
Recently I admitted that to myself. I also admitted wanting to believe (I did…really I did), was never going to overrule what my logical brain can accept.
I also made the decision to come out of the closet. To stop apologising for how I think and feel about religion.
Let me be clear.
I have many friends with deep religious beliefs. While we have at times engaged in theological discussions these are never attempts to convert the other. At least on my part.
And again I digress…but you expect that here…right ???
Writers Group. Oh yes…
I was told we were to have a lady come along who was thinking of joining our circle. Her husband had been (he’s dead and gone…somewhere…well you know what I think on that subject) a minister.
One lady of the group (and I am now using the term lady ironically) decided that I needed THE TALK.
THE TALK being consistent with telling your three-year-old not to spit food at the table or the dinner guests may never return.
The actual words used were: ‘Watch what you say as we don’t want you to scare her off.’
COME ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It gets better. Arriving at the meeting I was waylaid at the door…gently directed backwards as the door was closed and given THE TALK again by this month’s holder of the meeting, after she had been drawn in to protecting the minister’s widow from my potential un-christian-like behaviour.
Well…can you guess where this is all going ???
You’d be wrong.
Because what happened next…well I was part of it and I’m CONFUSED.