A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

So, the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, “This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.”… and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.

The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: 

“For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage,
a million dollars in the bank and ‘7’ inches in your pants.”

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return.  He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:

“Just to let you know things aren’t always what they appear to be;  I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in  Aspen  and  Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in  Louisiana.   There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.  But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches.   Just send the bottle back”


  1. OMG, that’s SO funny!!! That makes my morning! Thank you!!!

    It brings to mind this true account of a News Anchor on TV in one of our Canadian cities where the winters are particularly harsh. And she’s making her usual small talk with the Weather Man, only she goes off-script and casually asks, “So, Bob, what about those eight inches you promised last night?” And they actually had to go off air briefly because the entire studio lost it.


Comments are closed.