The pussies are taking over…

My life is ruled by animals.

Yep.

The demented fox terrier.

Two cats.

Plus one NOISY cockatiel.

Today I wish to discuss the cats.

Actually 1 cat – JACK.

Jack arrived seven years ago – technically she is my son’s cat. But the New Zealand Navy are not all that keen for him to take her along on sea voyages.

Jack was meant to be a male. Two tiny black furry bundles were brought around by a friend for the son to choose.

He choose the male – which was too young at the time, so two weeks later said black, purring kitty was delivered.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh – so cute.

The vet had to pick himself off the floor from laughing his arse off, when I took Jack along for a check up and asked about getting his balls seen to.

Balls – who needs balls I say ??

Jack was a Jackie.

Jack is a big cat.

She is a grumpy cat.

I had never heard a cat growl before.

Not a hiss, but a deep throaty, don’t mess with me or I’ll take your finger off growl.

She is not a snuggler, unless it is on her terms.

But our Jack is a very clever cat.

And at times annoying.

Take the early morning at my house.

Very early – dark and cold early.

Jack jumps up on to the chest of drawers beside my bed.

In doing so she’d make a racket, and meow. If this however, was not enough to get me vertical, Jack stepped up her game.

She’d jump from the chest of drawers on to the bed beside me, meow,  then jump back on the chest.

This action she’d repeat a few times, the meows getting louder, and more persistent.

Our Jack is also a thinker and a planner.

If these moves didn’t get me moving she adjusted her game plan.

Things (jewellery boxes, books, pens, glasses of water), would all start to fly off the chest of drawers on to the floor. Methodically.

She’d start little – first the pen would go, then she waited. And stared – it may be dark people but I saw those yellow eyes glowing with determination. Then a book, and an “I can keep this up for hours” meow followed by a jewellery box. The glass of water was always her last resort.

No – I don’t have a cat door. And there is a VERY good reason for that.

THE DEMENTED FOX TERRIER.

You see the DFT is a qualified Olympic medal winning jumper, and Houdini in one tiny teeny body.

Oh yes she is !!!

Pole jumps over the fence.

And she fits through a cat door.

Back to Jack in a minute.

But first Charlie.

Charlie is a snuggler. He snuggles on the bed at night. If it gets cold he paces beside my head until I lift the duvet. Once it’s in the air, under he goes. Charlie then does a 180 and lays down with one front leg dangling over my arm, and his head resting on top.

Yep – the baby of the family is a snuggler.

At the moment Jack arrives, Charlie is up.

“Me too, me too, me too,'” he says. All the while staring up at Jack on the chest of drawers.

Lately though Jack has learnt a new trick.

She can open windows. Oh yes she can !!!

Behind the chest of drawers is my window out on to the deck, where a chair has been conveniently placed to assist the pussies in their comings and goings during the day.

Jack has recently figured out that if she patiently sits and flicks with her paw – eventually the latch rises enough that “whallah” an open sesame moment occurs.

She then head butts the glass – until “whallah again” the window flies completely open (I made the mistake of WD 40’ing the catches when they got a bit stiff), and to use an Aussie expression – ‘Bob’s your uncle’.

Hot on her trail as she flies out the window is “me too, me too, me too” Charlie.

This may well seem like the ideal solution. But NO !!!!

Because now she knows she can open the window – it’s open slather any time of the night and day. And it’s WINTER here. So I have to get up and shut the window in the dark, and cold – not how I like to spend my nights.

Going out in the day for me can be a problem, as during winter  – well our Jack is a creature of comfort and likes to be toasty warm when the wind blows. But – should she decide she needs the great outdoors – straight to the window she heads.

Burglars – “Why don’t you just come in and help yourselves. The old lady has too much stuff anyways…”

And this comfort loving grumpy cat doesn’t stay out for long in winter – so it is to claws raking down the glass that I am later again hauled out of my warm bed to let her majesty back in.

Like I said – animals rule in this house.

But if this keeps up – there is going to be a revolution. And the pussies are going down people.

Pussy power is on its way out.