Supernatural takes down vampires and takes the piss while doing it…

Live Free or Twi-Hard.

The writers threw down the gauntlet right from the title. Paper cuts and ‘are you scared’ references kick this episode off.

So – unless you live under a rock on top of Mt Everest (nah, even there they have heard of Twilight I bet), you’ll know straight away we are in for a vamp fest.

The boys (hereafter known as TBs) are in Limestone, Illinois, which has a population of around 4,700, and has a Facebook page which 17 people like when I looked it up.

But then Forks in Washington (home of the Cullens) had a population of 3,028 in 2010. And Mystic Falls, (where the Salvatore brothers cruise around) although fictional is also a small town, as is Bon Temps where Sookie makes out with vampires and a host of other mystical creatures.

Seems vamps like small towns (maybe I should reconsider living in a small rural town).

And young girls, as a bunch of them have gone missing.

TBs check out the last girl to go missing and – the jokes start flying. Kristen’s (yes I said Kristen) room is full vampire related posters and paraphernalia. Getting into her laptop is a matter of using names from the Twilight actors, and once Sam tries Pattinson – he’s in.

Dean: “Try Lautner." Sam: “Wait, he’s a werewolf. How do you even know who that is?" Dean: “Are you kidding me, that kid’s everywhere. It’s a freaking nightmare."

Seems even Dean knows about Twilight – he suggests Sam try Lautner as a password (right movie – wrong creature). Not sure how big a fan Dean is, considering he thinks it is a nightmare that THAT kid (Lautner) is everywhere.

Seems the vamps have learnt a thing or two – they hit the local blood van and make off with the supplies. Grocery shopping and killing the delivery man at the same time – different.

At the Black Rose bar Dean and Sam get busy.

“You go with Efron, I got Bieber.” -Dean describing the two suspected emo vampire guys, comparing them to Zac Efron and Justin Bieber

One real vampire – headless now thanks to Sam, and one kid dressed in glitter and false teeth because it gets him laid – later, and Dean is in serious trouble.

“You’re pretty,’ says Boris, our lead vampire in Limestone. He’s not wrong – Dean IS pretty.

“You’re pretty.” - Boris the vampire to Dean

Only he doesn’t want to drink Dean – he turns him.

What the hell ??

Dean – a vampire.

Worse – Sam watches as Boris does it. Smiling. Ohhhhh Sammy. Why ??

What is wrong with Sam?

Heading over to Lisa’s is not a good idea. But when has Dean ever been one for good ideas. I get it – he thinks Samuel is going to kill him and he wants to say goodbye. Trouble is when you’re a vampire and you’re thirsty, things don’t go well – usually.

Dean and Lisa

Dean with vampire fangs – I know it is all the rage, vampires are cool supposedly – but it is gross.

Enter Grand-daddy Samuel – who has a cure, as long as Dean doesn’t drink blood. Catch is he has to get blood from the vampire who turned Dean.

Now I could give you a blow by blow – but no.

Dean gets what he wants, and a lot of vampires end up headless. Dean takes the cure – a Supernatural VERY gross moment.

“Le chaim!” Dean toasts before downing the Campbell cure

After ingesting the cure we (Dean as well) rewind right back to the attack, and Dean now gets to see that Sam watched.

Now this is the weird thing. I love TBs. And therefore it is not great seeing that there is something seriously wrong with sweet Sammy. But I’m kind of into this new Sam.

Jared really is serving it up. It is nice to see him stretch a little. Even if it means Sammy is gone.

So – okay this episode was fun in a ‘let’s take the piss out of the whole vampire everywhere you turn’ thing happening right now.

“These are the best days in the last 600 years to be a vampire. Dracula, Anne Rice? Please. These stupid little brats are so horny they’ve reinvented us as Prince Charming with a Volvo. They want a promise ring with fangs, so I give it to them.” Boris filling Dean in.

But it was more than that – this episode was about Sam.

A real ‘hey people, Sam is not all right’ but we are not telling you what is wrong with him just yet.

And what’s with Samuel having an old family recipe for curing vampires but keeping it secret? Is that not something you might want to share with the rest of them?

Maybe next Friday I’ll get some more answers. I’m just glad TV2 decided to run Season 6 straight after they finished Season 5. It’s about time little ol’ NZ caught up with the rest of the world.


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There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: I want to hear your opinion.

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