Julia kept thinking about Tony lying in the other room. She saw his brown eyes as if there was no wall between them, imagined her fingers caught in the dark curls around his head, felt his hands on her. All her life it seemed she had wanted to be in love. To live the fairy-tale, only this fairy-tale hadn’t read the rulebook. Nothing was as it should be. The guy she cared about wasn’t supposed to have a girlfriend, especially not one who was her friend.
Julia was so far down amongst her thoughts; she didn’t hear Tony as he came up behind her. Instinctively, her head leaned into his hand as it snaked around her neck, the other coming to rest on her waist.
‘Thinking of me I hope.’ He leant heavily into her back, his mouth next to her ear.
‘Jules shush…it’s okay.’
‘No it’s not Tony.’
‘Yes it is, just go with it. We both want to.’ Tony’s hands spun Julia by the waist. ‘We both want to Jules.’ She felt his breath leave warm circles of air against her neck, while the stubble on his face rasped against the skin on her cheek as he kissed her.
Julia saw the smile reaching to his eyes as she kissed him back. Yes, she thought, you’re right, as he lifted her up onto the bench. Wrapping her hands in his hair, and her legs around his body Julia decided to hell with the rulebook.
Putting his hands under her, Tony carried Julia to her bedroom never taking his mouth from hers. Sitting her on her bed, he knelt before her. Take it slow, he kept reminding himself. Don’t scare her off. Massaging her neck with his thumbs, he explored her mouth with his. Julia closed her eyes. He tastes sweet, she thought.
Tony was fully focused on her. He’d sensed Julia’s need for him. He knew that her attraction to him was deeper than she’d ever admitted, and his premonition told him that it was even greater than the friendship she had with Mary. The conflict he saw within her was a massive philtre to his arousal. It also provided an upsurge in his self-esteem. Life threw things at Tony, nothing, and no one had ever resisted him. Julia’s attempts to over the last months had only provoked his appetite for her.
Taking one of her hands, he gently kissed the palm. Agonizingly slowly, he then dragged it down his face and along his neck. Delaying, he stroked the back of it as it rested against his chest.
‘Jules,’ he whispered against her cheek, before pulling back. His stare intensified as he locked onto her eyes. Holding her gaze, he began to drag her hand further down over his belly. Sensing that Julia was on the verge of pulling away again, he softened his gaze with a smile. ‘Shush,’ he said. ‘It’s okay Jules,’ continuing to pull her hand till it rested against him. Tony recognised that this was a pivotal moment. If he could manage to get Julia to relax into this moment, the rest would follow.
‘Jules. Please,’ keeping her hand under his, he began to massage himself with it. ‘Please.’ Watching her closely, he withdrew his hand.
Julia was tipsy on emotion. As Tony took his hand away, she knew that she should do the same. But the sexual tension she saw in his eyes, as he continued to stare at her, dilating his pupils till they were a huge black mirror, incited her own. Her body made the decision for her, and she used her thumb and index finger to pop open the button on his fly.
Tony had imagined this, but when the button opened under her fingers, he was still surprised. He wanted badly to watch her hand as he felt it seek out the zipper, but was afraid to break the look passing between them. Mentally, he encouraged her to continue, knowing that it was necessary for Julia to be the one to initiate the first flesh on flesh contact if this was to go where he intended. He instinctively knew that when Julia had crossed that barrier, there would be no others.
Once Julia had lowered the zip, she sought out the warmth emanating out from Tony’s body. Her fingers slid under his shirt, and rested against his belly. Oh God, he’s so warm, she thought as she slid her hand among the tiny hairs. His skin is soft. She closed her eyes, and reopened them to follow the path her fingers were tracing. Underneath her wrist, Tony’s underpants were bulging out trying to reach her. As if guided by her line of sight, her hand moved lower. It slid under, the gentle softness from the cloth on the back of her hand, and the warm strength of Tony in her palm. Pushing backwards and down, she released Tony to both her sight and her touch.
‘Jules,’ reaching out to kiss her, Tony slid one hand up her leg, and then worked his thumb under her pants. Pulling it out, he sucked the taste of her into his mouth. This time he was going to get laid.
After, Julia lay on her side, her buttocks curved against Tony. His hand slid slowly up and down the sweat on her thigh.
‘Was it what you thought it would be like? Did I hurt you?’
‘I guess. How do you ever know what that is supposed to be like? Till you do it I mean.’
‘Did I hurt you?’
‘A little, I mean just for a bit, you know…when, at first I mean.’
‘No, I’m fine.’
‘So? Was it okay? Did you like it?’
‘God, you want a commentary or something?’
‘No, I just wanna know …I don’t know. I mean, well, yes. Did you like it?’
Turning to face him, Julia almost laughed. She saw a slight hint of mockery in his eyes, but deep down he really wanted her to comment on his performance.
‘Yes I liked it.’ Smiling she said, ‘You rocked my world, okay. Is that what you want to hear?’
‘Jesus, are you laughing at me? Just what every guy needs to hear at this moment.’
‘Tony stop. I didn’t mean it like that. It was good, honest. I’m glad it was you, you know. That it happened with. I’m just…I just need to get used to the idea that we, you and I, I mean, we had sex.’
‘If you give me a little time, I’m pretty sure I could show you again, just so that you’re sure.’ Tony’s hand moved from her thigh to the curve of her belly. He splayed his fingers out, an invitation and a question at the same time. Covering it with her own hand, Julia stared, fascinated by the size of his hand under hers. She wondered if it was true, whether you could size a man by the length of his index fingertip to the tip of thumb. Maybe she should ask Tony to show her. No, considering his recent questions, she probably shouldn’t ask.
Lightly stroking his hand, Julia’s mind emptied as she enjoyed the sensation of his body. She felt his sweat dripping onto her, the hairs on him rising as she stroked him. Tony felt the change in her, took it as an answering yes to his invitation. He pulled her close, and rubbed himself against her back. Pulling away slightly, Julia rolled over, smiled and pulled his head down to hers.