Saturday Afternoon

He was born with eyes searching,

wrinkled and bruised, on a Saturday afternoon.

As the clock chimes, his curled fingers reach out and

they take him from what he knows.

***

Wrinkled and bruised, on a Saturday afternoon

he watches an endless white marshmallow sky;

they take him from what he knows,

a firm hand leading him on.

***

He watches an endless white marshmallow sky

through safety glass, his breath blurring the world.

A firm hand leading him on

he shuffles past a collection of lost shells.

***

Through safety glass, his breath blurring the world,

longing crushes his chest.

He shuffles past a collection of lost shells,

trying to overlook images that haunt him.

***

Longing crushes his chest.

His feet drag. In the gloom he gets lost,

trying to overlook images that haunt him

etched in the past.

***

His feet drag. In the gloom he gets lost

by the bed. A picture – someone he knows

etched in the past;

loss whispers across the decades.

***

By the bed a picture, someone he knows.

As the clock chimes, his curled fingers reach out and

loss whispers across the decades.

He was born with eyes searching.

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If you’d like a definition of a Pantoum and an explanation on how to write your own – go here for more information.

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This week at dVerse – Poets Pub they are all about the Pantoum.

To see other poet’s efforts go on over and check them out.

**************************************************

This poem was published online at Asylum Poetry Magazine, with 2 others of mine. If you wish – click on the link:

http://www.papercut.herobo.com/Asylum/Asylum3/Asylum.html

Lots of great poetry by New Zealand poets and some beautiful photography as well.

This issue of the magazine showcases a lot of emerging talent in New Zealand.

I am proud to have been included.


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Author: Jo Bryant

I was born in the land of Banjo Paterson, gum trees, and weather extremes. I am a freelance writer. I live in the Bay of Plenty, New Zealand, but still like to claim my Australian heritage. I graduated with a Bachelor of Communications in 2008. I am writing my first novel. I love to write poetry, short stories, and also write for the web. And there is nothing that is on a par with a sunny summer's day spent at Waihi Beach.

27 thoughts on “Saturday Afternoon”

  1. Jo, there’s wonderful freedom in your pantoum. By escaping the abab rhyme scheme, the rhyme skips through with the repeating lines which you are quite careful with. The subject matter moves effortlessly through time in the way the lines repeat and by your choice of words. Well done. I enjoyed it very much!

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    1. Hi Gay, I really appreciate your comment. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and give me your thoughts. 🙂 I am so happy you enjoyed it – coming from you – a HUGE complIment.

      Like

  2. I thought this wonderful! Those repeating lines gave me sooooo much trouble, but again, here I find a write that makes them seem effortless. Appreciate the links you added as well…off to have a read! Thanks so much for sharing your efforts with dVerse!

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    1. What a great comment for me to find here !!! Those repeating lines were NOT effortless. They were hard work and days of pulling out my hair – even the ones that were not grey. 🙂

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  3. Jo, really enjoyed this, a treat as it is much longer than the traditional Pantoum, very nicely done, with a nice tone throughout and some excellent images. Thanks for the write

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  4. I think this is wonderful. And damn! You’ve done what I was attempting. I am always drawn to regular metre, or at least a regular pattern of stresses, when writing a pantoum, and I wanted to try something freer this time — which you have done much more sucessfully and with such apparent ease. 🙂

    Like

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